She's Just a Teeny Tiny Baby!
I had sort of a revelation today. I think I have the solution for the challenges we encounter with our little ones. It is really our own attitudes that make all the difference in the world. If we are concerned about sleeping through the night, or weaning, or nursing too often, or crying, or being scared of the water, the postman, a dog, whatever,- we just have to stop and think for a moment that our babies are just that... they are just teeny tiny little babies. Even my 20 month old who looks like such a big girl now. If you still have to change their diapers, prepare their food, dress them, etc., how can you possibly expect them to be old enough to sleep through the night, or not nurse "just for comfort" or sleep alone in their own bed...? If we would just ignore these ridiculous American hang-ups and that are spewn at us, just listen to our own instincts and cuddle up to our sweet little ones and give them all the comfort and security they ask for, we would all be so much happier and less stressed. They are so, so very young and depend on us for everything. All those things that we encounter every day without giving a second thought, are all new to them and some of it is really scary if you haven't seen it before!
A little side story: One day I was driving down the street and saw a man walking down his driveway. All of a sudden a huge grey cloud of smoke billowed out of his mouth. It suddenly made me sick to my stomach! It was the most revolting thing I have ever seen. You see, I hadn't seen that he was holding a cigar in his hand and I wasn't expecting the smoke. It hit me like a ton of bricks just how vile a thing it was, from the point of view of not knowing that the smoke went in! So just imagine how things look to your little children; everything is a new experience. What would those everyday things look like if you didn't know what they were. Think about it the next time your child freaks over something!
On another note that ties in, I was at my La Leche League meeting today and another mom was saying, " I want to get pregnant soon but I don't yet have my period so that can't happen yet." I am in the same situation. Someone brought up a wonderful point. She basically said that maybe nature is providing for the fact that your first child isn't ready to share you with a sibling! If your toddler is still nursing so much that it is preventing you from becoming fertile, then perhaps that child still needs too much of you to allow another child in at this point! I thought that was really a neat perspective and wanted to share it with all of you. It's something to think about at any rate!
So really what I think it comes down to is this; when you start to ask yourself shouldn't "Johnny" be ________ing yet?" forget it! Just don't worry about it. Think to yourself, If I were living in a hut 10,000 years ago, what would just happen naturally? Then, just let it happen that way! Forget what butt-in-skees say and just do what comes naturally. This is the way I have done things right from the start with Demmi and I never had any stress at all. I always followed my instincts and found attachment parenting to be the easiest and most natural thing in the world. Only recently have I occasionally started here and there to let myself sometimes think that she should be sleeping through the night or not nursing as often as she does, etc., but worrying about it doesn't change anything and there isn't anything I can really do about these things anyway!
So now as I lay there snuggling up to her in the middle of the night, nursing, I just say to her over and over, "You are still my teeny tiny little baby and you can have all the mommy-milk you want, and if you need to wake a few times for it, it is fine with me. I have always been there for you and I always will be to give you everything you need. I am your provider and your protector. Drink up my sweet little girl, I'll make all the milk you need. I nourish your tummy with my milk and your heart with my love.".If she is asking for it she needs it. I have never tried to go against her nature and her instinct before and I am not going to start now just because some misinformed people think that it is time for her to stop being a baby. She IS a baby! She needs me no less today than she did 6 or 12 or 18 months ago and nobody is going to come between me and my darling. I am her mother and I know what is best for her and if someone else dares to interfere then they better watch out because I am no less the mother bear defending her cub! Instinctive parenting is led by nature, now and at all ages! I am Lonnit, mother to Demmi. I live by instinct and hold the proof in my arms that I am right and no wind (nor hot air) shall blow me from my course! I am Earth Mother!
(Ok, so I got a little carried away at the end there! I was eagerly awaiting Jean Auel to publish her next book already!!!!!!!)
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